Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Numbness is Bliss

They say that dieting is harder once you've been on it and cheated. It makes you scared to go back on. You simultaneously taste the sinful foods and remember the deprivation that was your diet.

I think it's that way with feelings too. When you are accustomed to numbness, then forced to feel again, it's lethal to go back to numbness. You can't possibly let yourself feel when you have this taste of psychological freedom in your mouth.

But is it freedom? Is freedom a matter of being afraid of reality? Or is it a matter of being afraid to face that reality? Is that a choice? How can one choose between those options?

Why would a person expose the raw pain of their crumbling world when they can retreat to the safety and security of their little play life?

When does feeling cease to be an option?

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