From My Journal......More On Foreclosure-does this make me obsessed?

I think part of what scares me about foreclosure is the publicity. EVERYONE knows when there is a foreclosure. It is one of those things that you hear about on the radio, as a statistic, but don't think about on a personal level. As someone once said "When one person dies it is a tragedy, when a million people die it is a statistic." I think it is similar with foreclosures, and financial distress in general. You hear about it on the radio, you read about it in the newspapers, but we don't think of it as people. Real people. Imagine someone looking through one of these "foreclosed homes" listings and seeing OUR home in it. The home where I and my siblings grew up. The home where my older sibling's vorts were. The home we lovingly and carefully decorated. The home we have all our memories in. OUR home. Imagine it in a list of foreclosed houses, a list which screams to the world "my owners couldn't meet their bills" My house has been used for so much chesed over the years. Countless people have found refuge in our house. Numerous shiurim have been held in our house. Parlor meetings were conducted in our house. School functions, choir practice, showers, purim parties....you name it. Anyone who needed, our house was always open. And now, all those hundreds of people who have been at our house for various reasons will also know. The XXXXX family couldn't pay the mortgage.
I'll admit. I am plain and simple embarrassed.
Then there is also the fact that I don't want to move. As much as I don't find it very warm at the moment, and I often find myself dreading it, it is my house (notice I didn't say home) and it is spacious. I have my own bedroom. I have space. We are not all over eachother. I can not imagine sharing a room with 3 sisters, while all of us are in the delicate emotional state we are in. We can barely be have a normal conversation, without fighting. How can we all be squeezed into a tiny house?

Again, these are pointless complaints. I KNOW Hashem has something special planned for us, and it will all be ok.
It's hard though.