There is a time for your refrigerator to die, and there is a time for your refrigerator to die. Trust me, erev pesach is a rough time for your refrigerator to die.
It's not just the hundreds, the thousands of dollars of expenses this week, that are above the usual expenses. It's not just the entire stock of chicken, meat, cheese, eggs, and juice that now need to be transported to someone else's refrigerator. It is not just the food that has already been cooked that now needs a new place.
It's not even the money we (I) will have to spend on a new fridge tomorrow.
It's just the pileup of everything. Tomchei Shabbos delivery just as the repair man is proclaiming our freezer to be dead. It's just....too much.
So I sit here, ready to use the rest of the contents of my bank account, first thing tomorrow morning, and I wonder...what is Hashem trying to teach me here? What did He want me to learn from all this?
Perhaps my lesson was, appreciate how many things do work. Sure, the kitchen cabinets are falling apart, but the refrigerator is still humming...
Perhaps it was simply a test to my bitachon. Sure, it's easy to spend money when you have a couple of thousand dollars in your bank account. But when you have spent those last couple thousand in a mere few days, can you still spend like that?
Either way, I am grateful. I learned some valuable lessons tonight. I hope this will be the push I needed to raise my bitachon one notch, to live like I hope to live one day soon, IY"H, when I am married.
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5 comments:
I remember once we had quite a few big expenses in one time period and at first I was like "what's happening?" but then I thought that maybe there was a harsh judgment on my family and instead we were given all these major expenses. It's the same concept as "Hashem poured His wrath on wood and stones, and not on Bnei Yisrael".
That is really tough, sorry. The way you look at it is amazing - well you inspired me! These are hard times and we must remember that we never know what is going on behind another closed door. Thank you for reminding me that.
Not fun! Good luck.
Halfshared, I was thinking that, but in truth, it is more than that for my parents. Sure, I immediately offered to buy a new one, but this came mere hours after my father said he doesn't want me to spend any more money, that I've spent enough. For my parents, this is not about money. It is about pride. It's one more deep gash in their battered pride.
But your right. For me, it is just a matter of money. The last of my savings, but simply money nonetheless.
Floating reflections, thanks. You know, it's so amazing how much easier it is to cope when you have the right perspective. :-)
Ilana davita, it's not fun, but, as I told my mother, B"H it's the fridge that died, not chas veshalom a person. :-)
I really have a lot to learn from you......
...thank you for sharing that with us...
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