Another reason I started this blog, and decided to make it public, is because there is something I want to share with the world. This is actually the main reason I decided to share all of this.
This is an argument I constantly have with my sister. She feels that her life is so tough and she can't bare it. I tried to explain this to her, but despite my efforts she won't listen, she won't understand.
Yes, there are people out there who have a "perfect" life. Leaving aside the argument about what "perfect" means, let's say, for argument's sake, that she actually has a "perfect" life.
A nice family. A wealthy father. Pretty. Talented. Gorgeous house. Fun mother. Cute sisters. Well behaved brothers. I mean, seriously, you name it, she's got it. She is lacking nothing. Of course, pesach time she came home from seminary, got engaged to the top boy in Lakewood (whose father is among the wealthiest Jews in america), had a beautiful chasuna, moved into a stunning apartment, and has an adorable baby boy within a year after her chasunah. But I met this girl at a chasunah recently, and I couldn't help but feel that she is one of the most immature girls I've ever met. How could it be? This girl has been through life experiences I can't even fathom. A wedding. Marriage. Pregnancy. Child birth. Motherhood.
And I've been through none of that! So why am I calling her immature?
Because this girl doesn't seem to realize what life is all about. While I am sure this girl is an amazing wife, a model mother, she doesn't seem to understand the true meaning in life.
Assuming that life experience is measured in terms of accomplishments, in terms of overcoming hurdles and climbing mountains, I have seen much more of life than she has. Wouldn't you say that I'm luckier than she is? This girl doesn't have the same opportunities for growth that I have. She doesn't have the same life experiences that I have. So, while I am still single, and I have not experienced some of the things she has, in terms of moving ON, I have experienced things she has not in terms of moving UP.
I the few people that know my story usually react by saying something like "Oh, wow! You have such a hard life"
Life is not about getting through looking pretty. Life is about toiling, about sweating, about working your kishkes out, about becoming the best you can be.
In that case, please, please realize: hard=good!
Honestly, I don't think that my life is bad. Tough? At times. Hard? Yeah, I would say so. But not bad. I wouldn't trade my life for someone else's life. Not for all the money in the world. No matter how badly I need it.
4 comments:
I hope that this positive attitude says with you and helps guide you through life's hurdles.
On a separate account I can hardly believe that there is a person out there who has not had their experience of difficulties. Nobody knows what goes on behind the closed front door of another and the mask they put on and air of 'I dont know what a problem is' may just be a cleverly constructed facade.
May we all continue to grow and not fall from out nisyonos.
Floating Reflections: Thanks.
That's why I said that I am leaving that argument aside.
It's more than the "behind closed doors" thing. Please realize that it is entirely possible that she really never had anything more tragic occur in her life than chipping her newly manicured fingernail. But that could be as hard for her to deal with as me dealing with losing my house.
Not because she is a lesser person, but because this is where she is, and this is where I am, which brings me back to the point of my post.
Check your mail :-)
I'm a single college student looking for both a spouse and a job. I sometimes feel down, but I try to think of good things I have and it helps. I have come to realize that this is where I need to be right now before I move on.
It's so true about using challenges to help us grow. That is what they are there for.
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